How NOT to Succeed in Life

So much is written about how to succeed in life.

I thought it might be fun to write about the opposite.

If you follow these instructions, you’ll be sure to avoid success.

Get involved in Unhealthy Relationships

A great way to sidetrack you from the path of success is the distraction of an unhealthy relationship. Whether your relationship is with the wrong person or simply a co-dependent one; unhealthy is what you need in order to not achieve your goals. Purity is way overrated.

Don’t Take Care of Your Body

Remember, #YOLO. You Only Live Once. Live fast, play hard, and completely forget about your body. I mean you can’t take it with you when you’re dead right? Eat what you want, don’t exercise and treat it harshly.

Reject All Authority

An underrated yet super effective way to ruin your future is by undercutting authority figures. I know authority is established by God and all, but come on! Some of the people He chooses are ridiculous. Reject authority, reject success.

Realize You Know It All

So much is made about staying teachable and correctable. Bah. No way. It’s time you realize YOU already know it all. Others aren’t trying to help. They’re trying to belittle you and leverage you for more power. Also, a bonus tip: Most people have nothing new to teach you so don’t bother trying. Get set in your ways as soon as possible.

Underestimate the Power of Your Words

We say lots of words in a day. Why stress out over and handful of them here or there? If you said it but don’t follow through, NO BIG DEAL. It’s not like you signed a contract or something. Even if you did, just find a lawyer who’ll help you get out of it. Words are overstressed. Use your words to get what you want. Manipulate if necessary.

Hope this helps. In my next installment we’ll focus in on how to lose friends and alienate people.

What are some of your favorite techniques for NOT SUCCEEDING?

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