Lies Extroverts Tell (1 of 3)

Let me ask you a question.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

You know the difference right?

Extroverts are cool fun-loving people that make friends easily and float through life with ease.

Introverts are cold, aloof and anti-social.

So again, are you an introvert or extrovert?

Okay, I admit I may have mischaracterized what being an introvert or extrovert is all about.

Let’s focus on extroverts for a moment (because as you know… it’s all about them).

So here is a look at how Wikipedia describes being an extrovert:

“Extroverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. Extroverts are energized and thrive off of being around other people. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. An extroverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone. They tend to be energized when around other people, and they are more prone to boredom when they are by themselves.”

Doesn’t it all sound sooooo wonderful?!

I get it.

Some of you just had a minor panic attack while reading that description.

The bottom line is we’re all different. Some people are introverts and some people are insane and emotionally needy (extroverts).

Here’s the point of all this.

Regardless of which side of the spectrum you tend to find yourself on it’s likely that you’ve felt the need to defend yourself.

We like to push people to one extreme or the other because it’s easier to categorize and label people with simple black and white terms.

In truth when it comes to introversion and extroversion people are most commonly blends of both.

When it comes to your personality don’t think of yourself as a Coke or Pepsi. Think of yourself as a uniquely refreshing mixed drink (some more potent than others).

I find myself mostly on the extroverted side. With that being said I’ve been perpetuating a few lies about myself and other extroverts lately.

Today is the first post in a three part series I’m calling, “Lies Extroverts Tell.”

My hope is to clear the air and debunk some of the myths surrounding “my people.”

Ready?

Doesn’t matter either way because the post continues below.

Lie #1 Extroverts Tell:

“I Really Like Those Shoes!”

Before I explain this one at length I need to help you interpret this.

First of all, you need to know that you can substitute shoes for anything else.

The actual quote should read, “Hey I really like your _________.”

Shirt, jeans, hair, hat, bracelet, belt, nametag, frog pendant, socks or ANYTHING else.

This is a lie.

9 times out of 10 it’s not true.

How could we possibly process the information fast enough to form an opinion on any article of clothing let alone a frog pendant!?

So why do we compliment you?

Is it to brighten your day? Make you feel better or more confident?

No.

We tell this lie because we are secretly hoping you’ll return the favor.

Extroverts covet praise and desperately want to make a good impression with others.

Complimenting others is a great way to lay the groundwork for others to like you in return.
Phew! It makes me feel a lot better to get the truth out there.

Extroverts love when we feel loved. Complimenting others is a great way to be likeable.

I wish it wasn’t this way. I wish I could compliment people and really mean it.

But I really want to be liked and all too often I take the shortcut of complimenting you in hopes that you’ll like me.

I read this verse constantly and try to put it into practice:

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. (Romans 12.9-10, NLT)

I’m doing my best to be honest and genuine with people. It’s tough fighting off my desire to be liked.

Check back with me on Wednesday and Friday this week as I uncover two more lies extroverts tell.

9 thoughts on “Lies Extroverts Tell (1 of 3)

  1. Love this Andy. As a self proclaimed introverted extrovert. I tend to juice out all the compliments people can muster towards me.

  2. I was chuckling the whole way through.

    Some of my favorite points:
    “some more potent than others”
    “ready? doesn’t matter either way because the post continues below.”
    “my people”

    I think we can all agree with the great Johnny Ca$h in that we “walk the line”… But unlike Cristian, I’d say I’m more of an extroverted introvert.
    That being said, I’d argue that 9 out of 10 times I genuinely do like whatever I am complimenting, but I’m not gonna lie and say I wouldn’t love to hear a compliment in return.
    Thanks for the post – I’m looking forward to the next two!

  3. I’m with you Christel. I feel bad for smearing so many good well meaning extroverts. I wish I was more genuine in my compliments to others. Thanks for enduring my online therapy session. Haha.

  4. Terrific post. Looking forward to the next two. Not sure whether I’m a shy (as in cautious, not bashful) extrovert or an introvert who wants to be the center of attention. I always balk at the self-assessment tests because of the tendency to pigeonhole people or giving them excuses for bad behavior.

  5. I am an introvert and I found this post so entertaining. I’ve always been curious about how extroverts think and this post gave a sneak peak of it. I didn’t know that extroverts are concerned about making a great first impression, I thought that they are very confident with who they regardless of what people think of them it’s nice to know that they have a vulnerable side too. I always know that extroverts love interacting with a lot of people that is probably why they care so much about being liked. I’m looking forward to reading your next post.

    Regards,
    Tavia Cruz

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