Why I’ll Always Love Mayo

Back before Stacey and I were married we used to cook dinner together at our parents houses.

We both lived with our folks and since they had houses stocked with ‘free’ food we wanted to take full advantage.

It was during one such dinner date that I discovered something a major red flag about the woman I wanted to marry.

She had been raised in a Miracle Whip house.

I know, I know… I’ll give you a moment while you vomit.

Stacey has wonderful parents. Loving and kind people who are fantastic in-laws. They did an amazing job raising Stacey and her brother and sister, but they just messed up in this one area.

I remember asking Stacey as we prepared to make gourmet dinner sandwiches (we were in college) if she’d pass me the mayo.

She looked puzzled. As if she’d never heard the word before.

She looked through the fridge and shrugged, then handed me a jar of Miracle Whip.

My non-poker face was a dead giveaway.

“No good?” she asked.

“Lets go to the store,” I said.

I was in disbelief. Everything about Stacey was so right. How could my dream girl not even have mayonnaise in her house?

This was just wrong.

After dinner we cleaned up, watched a movie and then it was time for me to go home.

“Do you want your mayo?” she asked as I walked out the door.

“You keep it,” I said, “May it be the start of better sandwiches for your family.”

________

I knew despite the Mayo Meltdown I was going to marry Stacey.

The ring I purchased had arrived and now there were very few obstacles left in my way.

1. Her accepting my offer
2. Asking her father’s permission

Only flip the order.

I needed to come up with a way to ask her dad.

The problem was we didn’t hang out. I’d never gone anywhere with just Bob… I mean Mr. Nix… Ahhh. I didn’t even know what to call this guy!

Then suddenly out of nowhere the answer became clear.

A few nights ago we made our gourmet sandwiches, I left the mayonnaise in their refrigerator, I just needed to call and pick it up from him.

While we talked about the virtues of mayonnaise over Miracle Whip I’d pop him the question clearing the way for me to ask Stacey.

It was all falling into place.

Nervously I called over to the Nix house.

Bob answered and I explained how I forgot my mayonnaise in their fridge and how I needed to come get it.

He graciously offered to drop it by as he would be heading out later in the day. I abruptly declined. I’ll be over in a few minutes.

Bob—I mean Mr. Nix answered the door and invited me inside.

We went to the kitchen and he retrieved my prized mayo from inside the fridge.

“Is that all you need?” he asked warmly.

It was the perfect lead in.

Right there in his kitchen with mayonnaise in hand I asked for his daughter’s hand.

He said yes and a few days later so did she.

Today marks 11 years of marriage to my mayonnaise muse.

I saved her from the depths of a Miracle Whip existence.

She saved me from life without her.

We’ve been blessed in so many ways. I could write a post everyday for the rest of my life and not be able to describe how wonderful life is with Stacey.

She’s a wonderful mother, wife and friend.

I’m a better man because of her.

Happy Anniversary Stacey. I love you more today than ever before.

4 thoughts on “Why I’ll Always Love Mayo

  1. I will always remember your story when I reach in to get the Mayo out of the fridge. Blesdings to you and Stacey. May the Lord cintinue to bkess your marriage and your beautiful Family .

  2. We still use Miracle Whip Andy, but thanks to you we also always have a jar of Mayo in the fridge too! Happy Anniversary to You and Stacey!

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