Some lessons in life are caught not taught.

Here are five things I’ve learned by being around my dad for 31 years.

#5 – Kindness Always Counts

Something my dad has always valued is kindness. The truth kindness doesn’t cost a thing resonates with him.

He cares about kindness and was one thing he demanded from us as we grew up.

He has lived this out in his actions as well. He’s one of the kindest people I know.

#4 – Work Hard & Laugh Often

As long as I’ve been paying attention

my dad has been a Boeing employee. Up by 3:30 or 4 am and off to work.

I’m pretty sure my dad doesn’t love his job, but he loves his family and works hard to provide for them.

He also loves to laugh and finds fun in the monotony.

#3 – Love God, Serve in His House & Have Fun

My dad’s love for God and care for His house (the church) have had a huge impact on my life.

He loves his volunteer role at our church. He’s been serving in the kid’s ministry department for 10+ years.

My dad loves to inject fun and laughter in every story/lesson he writes.

#2 – Play With Your Kids & Make ‘em Laugh

I can hardly recall a time in which my dad was unavailable to play with us.

It didn’t matter if it was Wiffleball, basketball, football, a board game or card game.

My dad was always up for a game.

We laughed a lot.

#1 – Love Your Wife & Make Her Laugh

My dad’s devotion and love for my mom are vivid memories.

He would always side with her. They were unified in their decision-making.

He always did and still does make her laugh.

________

Love you dad.

Thanks for being kind, working hard, loving God, playing with us and loving your wife.

And for making it fun and laughing along the way.

Happy Father’s Day.

 

*Here’s a podcast I recently recorded with my dad for Father’s Day:

[haiku url=”http://andyjoneslive.com/audio/andyjoneslive6-14-12.mp3″ title=”Dad & Me”]

One of my favorite podcasts to date.

My dad, Norm Jones, sits down and we talk about dad stuff:

• Playing with your kids
• Band Concerts
• What’s better: Being Dad or Papa?

 

I’m grateful my dad broke the cycle of divorce, instability & abuse for me and my siblings.

His decision to build a healthy marriage has had and will continue to have a positive impact on our family for years to come.

[haiku url=”http://andyjoneslive.com/audio/andyjoneslive6-14-12.mp3″ title=”Dad & Me”]

 

Love you dad and Happy Father’s Day.

 

 

My only real break up came in sixth grade when a girl dumped me after two and half days of dating bliss.

It hurt.

I only agreed to date her after her friend (who I really liked) said it would help her friend’s self confidence if a boy would “go out” with her.

So, being the nice guy I am (and looking to impress the girl I really liked) I agreed.

You can imagine my shock when this girl delivered the classic line heard at every break up in the history of mankind, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

What?!

Excuse you?!

What does, “It’s not you, it’s me,” even mean?

It’s easy to say, it flows from the lips without much thought.

This line is a shallow attempt to save the feelings of the other person that’s being dumped.

The question is: How true is that statement?

For me, a person who definitely enjoys the approval of others this line doesn’t really help.

When I sense, think, or hear someone doesn’t like me I want to know why.

Is this healthy?

No.

I’ve had to work really hard to not allow people’s opinion of me to drive me or lead me to do stupid things in order to earn their approval.

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that often when people don’t like me or give me a weird vibe I really should be thinking, “It’s not me, it’s you.”

That can sound rude, I understand, but allow me to explain.

I believe that more often than not the reason we dislike or disapprove of people is based on our own preconceived notions and biases.

So it really might be true after all… “It’s not you, it’s me.”

There’s a lot of freedom to be found when you realize that it’s not your job to make sure everyone likes you and is pleased with you.

Does that mean you should act like a jerk and say, “Too bad, that’s your problem.”?

Of course not.

I’m simply saying that you can’t make everyone like you.

So quit wasting your time.

Be who God has called you to be.

Look at how Jesus dealt with human approval:

“Your approval means nothing to me.” (John 5.41)

Earlier Jesus had explained to His disciples what truly drives him:

“My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.” (John 4.34)

I’m working through this too, but let me encourage any fellow people pleaser types out there:

You can’t impress and win everyone over.

Next time you feel rejected maybe it would help you to repeat this little phrase:

“It’s not me, it’s you.”

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “I have an open door policy.”

Usually it’s a leader trying to encourage openness and transparency in his/her team.

It’s a nice way to say I’m accessible, you can talk with me anytime.

Stacey and I have some friends who live by this principle quite literally.

As long as we’ve known them, whenever they have people over their front door is always opened.

Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I went to their house and the front door was closed.

Open doors are inviting.

Friendly.

Warm.

They communicate important truths to your guests:

• We’ve been expecting you
• You are welcome here
• Don’t stay outside, please come in

 

Jesus lived with an open door policy.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11.28-30, MSG)

Also, maybe a stretch here, but I really like this from the book of Revelation:

“I have opened a door for you that no one can close.” (Revelation 3.8, NLT)

When it comes to building a relationship with / following Jesus, His door is ALWAYS opened.

As people who have been extended Grace, we must live our lives the same way.

Doors opened.

While reading a review of one of my favorite TV shows recently I stumbled upon a quote that has been seared into my memory.

The review was written by pop culture author and essayist Chuck Klosterman. His work has been featured in SPIN, ESPN and New York Magazine.

As I read his review, this line jumped out at me:

“The artist is always superior; the critic is always inferior.”

When I first read it I was immediately convicted.

I thought about all the time I’d wasted poking holes in what others have done.

Then, I began to wonder if the quote was actually true.

I mean seriously, have you seen the movies Vin Diesel churns out?

(No, I would never say that to his face)

Even if you agree with me on Vin’s movies, you’d have to agree his paydays are superior to yours.

Sorry, back to the point of this post.

Creativity trumps criticism.

I want to spend more of my time creating and less time criticizing others.

It’s interesting, the more time I spend being creative the more creativity flows.

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.

Criticism grows and flows when you feed it.

Criticism is easier.

It’s cheap.

There’s always something or someone to rip on.

The truth is, creativity costs you something.

Time, effort and energy.

When you’re creative you put yourself out there a bit.

When you create you become vulnerable.

You’re on display.

It’s well worth it though because remember, “The artist is always superior; the critic is always inferior.”